"... irony of masochism...
... parody of sadism..."

Have you ever wondered the sufferings? Why is there pain? Degradation and humiliation?

Not that I myself pondered about it, but it seems to revolve around my life too often as it is. We either choose to live it with or be denial and pretend that it's a bed of roses. Amazingly for some people, it is their fuel to live, their purpose of their existence. My mum use to say "... Son ar... first you have to taste bitter, then you will learn how to appreciate the sweet...", that coming out from my mum has to be something either really religious or makes completely no sense at all. Mockery aside, I truly find the composition makes perfect sense. Thanks ma:)

Looking at the things happening around me recently made me wonder...

I'm a sadist...

I inflicted misery, make a mockery of certain people, and host series of drama. And they keep on coming back for more... damn masochists.

I throw hurtful statements, they find humor.
I push them away, they splash attention.
I abuse them, they understand.
I hurt myself, they feel pain.

At the given same time...

I'm a masochist...

They entertain me, I chose to be depressed.
They care for me, I wanted to be alone.
They give me peace, I seek for trouble.
I hurt myself and wallow in my own misery.

It is like a perfect symphony of mixed emotions... just like Romeo and Juliet.

" ... but why?", they asked...

" ... you will never be happy", they said...

I suppose it is because I just get to live my life just once, and I chose to make the most of it... ...bitter sweetly...


j0nb