"... it's hard trying to be someone...
... it's even harder being yourself... "

Disappointment arises when you are not what you are expected to be. Seriously I don't give 2 hoots about what people think. But what happens if you don't even like who you are in the first place?

...

Mentality of mine was never accepted and shunned. Rationalism of mine is despised and crucified. Alienated from the aspect of humanism. Best part of all, I just love to prove myself I'm wrong.

Just hoping I could at least sit on a fence and look things at both ways, but no... I choose to overdo things to the extent of arising confusion. It never seemed to matter, but when it starts to hurt people around you, and you think that you don't care... hypocrisy.

As the weekend has ended on a very stressed note, I can't imagine how long I can actually do this. Everything around me is getting affected for a fact of a perception of selfishness on my part. I tried to enjoy myself minus the babysitting, it was not all that bad. Only downside of this, they wanted more. I accommodated... they wanted more.

Maybe it is time to start taking, then maybe I will learn how to love myself thus love everyone else.

j0nb