"... forgive and forget...
... forget about forgiving... "

Your pride halts you from rational perspective of understanding the answer behind the reason. You proceed in giving yourself an explanation to justify given facts to obtain the truth in which is emotionally acceptable for you. And finally what you achieve in the end is denial compositions in which, you manipulate your reasoning to attain a logical sense of things, in your very own point of view.

Complex

I'd say "... forget it and accept it and move on..."

Trust me, it makes you and I a happier person.


j0nb

"... men need what they do not want...
... but want what they do not need..."

I realize that this statement might not be entirely true. I believe that we all measure things differently. I might not be able to gauge the importance this is to you, but it does not mean I can stop you from doing whatever you see fit. With that, whatever floats your boat, floats mine.

Haven't seen her for awhile, but it seemed like yesterday. Now curly hair; aggressive. Drink and dance. Underneath that shell though, I sense naive, denial. Grown to be a fine woman, I tried a different approach and accept her new found mentality.

The night ended, and it's time to go. The quiet journey back to her place allows me to see her stripping the hard coat. That is when I found another victim of the world. Not knowing what to do and where to start, how it happened and why...

I could not help her, because she might not or will not understand.

I could not help her, because I might not or won't understand.

It's a phase... whatever makes you happy ^_^


j0nb

"... calling out...

... to the Penang island..."

Was listening and singing along to the King of Convenience- Cayman Islands. If you have never heard of them is fine... so did I, until someone slap it on my face long time ago... yeah yeah... they are not bad:P

I managed to squeeze in a holiday trip for myself during my week off, all thanks to my chubby friend. Can't say I did not enjoyed it. Can't say I did either. Perhaps it was partly work and hardly play... but meh... I'll let you all be the judge from the snaps below^_^

The first picture taken the moment I got there... Queensbay Mall. Can't figure out what does those angels have to do with mall. Weird theme.

My job scope involves sitting in Dome all day and acting pretty, and of course enjoying my fav... hearts you baby~!!Dome's outlet manager
... and Starbucks. I love my coffee thank you...
... 'nuff said... not only in Mumbai trust me...
~opps.. he did it again...
The event
+
The job
+
The cast
... whilst occupying ourselves to retail therapy. Working can be pretty boring...
... not too bad on the first day.
... we decided to go on a road trip on the second day; feels like I'm not in Penang at all.
... and how much people boast about their food. Urgh, I'm not amazed.
The injured victim who was unable to work on the second day...
Photo sessions for remembrance.
Why she does that I really don't know.
... all I wanted was some peace...
but of course... I did manage to find the love of my life in Penang, in which made me a happier man in the end...Who's that unlucky girl you might say...

...

j0nb

"... birthdays is to remind you...

... that you are a better swimmer than the rest of the millions..."

Another tribute to my alter ego.

I hoped he had his fun.
I hoped he likes his Euphoria moment.
I hoped he likes diversified company.
I hoped he likes his Vodka Coke.
I hoped he likes the racist jokes in SS2.
I hoped he likes raiding 7-11.
I hoped he likes his after-party.
I hoped he likes his Shotgun Special Brew.
I hoped he likes drunk driving with GPS navigation.
I hoped he likes his "happy" with a lot of alcohol.

I hoped he is happy... on his birthday... my good friend...

... smile, you're on candid camera...
... great things comes in pairs...
... instead of you, I got my present:P...
... so did Matt...

So now... what else do you wish for? Another birthday perhaps:P


j0nb

"... a thousand mistakes...
... one forgiveness..."

No, this is not about doing anything wrong. This explains the imbalance of the common beliefs and the shortcomings of fairness and just. There is no equality... never have... and never will be.

The only one day I pay my dues to you... of the rest of the 364 days of instability in which I believe it was appreciated.

This is a tribute to you ...

Standing ovation to the wonder woman
The way to a woman's heart is through a crazily priced and romantic restaurant
Euphoric settings that will wanna make you rather orgasmic rather than hungry.
... not to mention it comes with a water spitting fountain

A portion which is only fit for 1/4 of my stomach
... and here comes the dessert. Always... always get dessert. "if you don't want them to nag at you after dinner:P"

Happy Birthday to you Bejim:)
... now go clean the dishes:P...

j0nb

"... tainted milk...

... is always new cheese..."

Here comes the time of recollect. I have managed to obtain serenity throughout a week of inactivity. Things were pretty eventful for the past 3 months and I was about to think that I would finally cave in. Maybe I needed it. Maybe I'm used to it. Maybe it have to happen.... maybe.

Repetitive... same occasions, different people. This truly justifies the reason for us to have resolutions every end of the year. Therefore I refuse to commit myself to the norm and hoping for some niche differences for any time to come. I am everything, but contented.

But I guess everyone will change. I remember how I used to disagree with my very first girlfriend that people don't change. I was wrong. They do change, or should I say evolved, through the personal experiences, knowledge acquired in order to better survive in the society. Even so, I feel different, think differently, act different and thus being... indifferent. Because I believe that deep down, you're just the same old milk from the same old cow.

That is still the same Jon behind that stupid mineral mask and a very expensive facial.


The same Jon behind the vivid graphic...
The same Jon after shedding his skin...

... why the hell I went and do that? Oh well... resolutions :P


j0nb

"... fresh start...

... is never fresh..."

It has taken me awhile; heaving from the weight upon my chest, day after day...

Gaze upon the reflection of my memories, I see a myriad of emotions, a kaleidoscope of distortion of actuality. All seemed so familiar...

... deja vu...

j0nb

"... no one deserves a second chance to start over...

... just an opportunity to make things right after..."

I have made a mistake. The mistake is ME.

In my discovery in uncovering the facts, I have found myself intertwine in a very twisted plot. A long chain of deceiving acts. Just when I thought I have the situation under control, I was actually a puppet, yanked to the mastermind's bidding.

... and they succeeded.

In my pursue to seek the balance in my life, I left myself naked. I was oblivious to the fact.

So, have I not done anything wrong?

I did...

... by leaving my guard down and being sincere.

... by being selfish so that I can make everyone happy.

... by lying so I won't hurt anyone but myself.

... by giving another chance to be abused by trust.

... by neglecting attention and handling it alone.

I did, and I won't deny it.

I did and I'm ashamed of it.

I did and I can't regret about it.

This has indeed proven that it only takes ONE fucking hand to clap. As the opposing side wins, it would not matter. This is because I believe that this statement is untrue...

"you cannot trust anybody in this world"

Huh?

"trust everyone... as if they are your enemy"

Now, that's more like it ^.^

j0nb

"... superficial behavior...
... that is ironically cliche..."

Whitney Houston- Saving all my love for you
A few stolen moments is all that we share
You've got your family, and they need you there
Though I've tried to resist, being last on your list
But no other man's gonna do
So I'm saving all my love for you

It's not very easy, living all alone
My friends try and tell me, find a man of my own
But each time I try, I just break down and cry
Cause I'd rather be home feeling blue
So I'm saving all my love for you

You used to tell me we'd run away together
Love gives you the right to be free
You said be patient, just wait a little longer
But that's just an old fantasy
I've got to get ready, just a few minutes more
Gonna get that old feeling when
you walk through that door
'cause tonight is the night, for feeling alright
We'll be making love the whole night through
So I'm saving all my love
Yes I'm saving all my love
Yes I'm saving all my love for you

No other woman, is gonna love you more
Cause tonight is the night, that I'm feeling alright
We'll be making love the whole night through
So I'm saving all my love
Yeah I'm saving all my love
Yes I'm saving all my love for you
For you, for you
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Beverly Craven- Promise me
You light up another cigarette
and I pour the wine
It's four o'clock in the morning
and it's starting to get light
now I'm right where I want to be
losing track of time
but I wish that it was still last night
You look like you're in another world
but I can read your mind
how can you be so far away
lying by my side
when I go away I'll miss you
and I will be thinking of you
every night and day just ...

Promise me you'll wait for me
'cos I'll be saving all my love for you
and I will be home soon
Promise me you'll wait for me
I need to know you feel the same way too
and I'll be home, I'll be home soon

When I go away I'll miss you
and I will be thinking of you
every night and day just ...

Promise me you'll wait for me
'cos I'll be saving all my love for you
and I will be home soon
Promise me you'll wait for me
I need to know you feel the same way too
and I'll be home, I'll be home soon

Promise me you'll wait for me
'cos I'll be saving all my love for you
and I will be home soon
Promise me you'll wait for me
I need to know you feel the same way too
and I'll be home, I'll be home soon

A dedication to myself...

j0nb

"... once bitten, twice shy...
... twice bitten, never try..."

I feel insecure, antagonizing fear...

Whom do you trust? What do you believe? Where are the facts?

It has never bothered me. I could not care less on what people think. People who knows me well enough, this does not affect me. Why? Sticks and stones may break my bones but words could never hurt me.

Perhaps it is because I'm an escapist.
Perhaps I'm denial.
Perhaps I love to manipulate.

They could believe what they wanted to believe. They could listen what they wanted to hear. They can look at what they saw... but they will never see...

Never see...
Never understand...
Never feel...

I cannot afford to be empathetic, no longer. Neither could I try to understand why...

Love me or hate me. I don't care... or maybe I stopped caring. I am for what I am.

Who are you to judge?


j0nb

"... falling in love with yourself...
... is definitely the hardest love of all..."

Acceptance.

You were never satisfied with the way you look. You wish you were taller, buffed. You wish that pimple or that scar would just go away. Or the extra meat on your belly would just end up either on your chest or arms.

Acceptance?

She says you nag too much. She complaints that you are always late. You make no sense to her. She compares you to any Tom, Dick and Harry.

...

Now imagine... what if your other half is the exact replica of what you are? A metaphor that seemed so familiar, in which indeed has proven that it takes only Jesus to accept you for who you are. Sadly I was comfortable living with myself or I thought I was... and the reason maybe the case that you/I could not comprehend being alone without yourself.

Now all you/I have left to do is to accept... and pray that it does not eat you and I alive.


j0nb

"... wake me up...

... when October ends..."

A night I spent with Joe at Steven's Corner in OUG, it came to me. How long has it been since I came here? How did it went by so fast?

It has been almost a week, since October. It still feel so close. So many has happened.
But I guess the good one always stays...

The early of the month started off like a maestro on a masterpiece. A rare celebration of the day I was born...
... with the only woman who managed to tolerate 8 years of a 27 year-old abomination...

... and of course the whole entourage of freakiest family members.

That was only the appetizers... did I mention the word freaky?

Then came the 3 men that made my life felt like a highway with tons traffic lights... literally...

This is the main reasons behind the anomaly of my life... yeah both of you should be proud.
... what did I say...
This is the 3 women... in which totally changed my perceptions on women entirely.

See... I did not lie...

... this video is not suitable for minors... as it is proven that the female specimen has indeed ee von, *cough, I mean evolved.

After the turbulence ended... with a lot of sumo bed fights...

... things have started to unwind and tuned down.

Trying to facade myself and be "normal"...
p/s: I hate weddings...

... but injuring myself in the process. Sprained shoulder and broken knuckle is definitely a great way to end the month.

Now I wonder... if these were the good ones, the bad ones could really mean something...


j0nb